Kevin D. Williamson, Asshole of the Day for September 30, 2014
Imagine being so “pro-life” that you think a woman should face the death penalty for aborting a fetus.
Imagine being so, so “pro-life” that “logically” you think the doctors and nurses who abort a fetus—even to save the of a mother—should face the death penalty, too.
Imagine having thought it through so much that, like National Review writer Kevin D. Williamson, you even have your preferred method of “pro-life” execution—hanging—already decided.
Worth noting: Williamson writes for a publication that likes to bill itself as: “America’s most widely read and influential magazine and web site for conservative news, commentary, and opinion.” Keep that in mind when you read the moronic Kevin D.Williamson-penned bullshit the National Review is now publishing.
Williamson’s latest article was his attempt to respond to a Lena Dunham blog post encouraging women to vote. His piece, “Five Reasons Why You’re Too Dumb to Vote… (Reason 1: You get your politics for Lena Dunham)” prompted a quick backlash. Things started rolling downhill faster when Williamson began explaining his penis-based expertise to, among others, Charles Johnson of the blog Little Green Footballs on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Green_Footballs/timelines/516292560310923264
NOTE: Tea Party Cat and I hadn’t started Asshole of the Day back in 2012 when Williamson told women to vote for Mitt Romney because his male-producing sperm was superior to Barack Obama’s, which only produces girls.
And Williamson lost out to Rush Limbaugh on August 13, despite calling a 9-year-old black boy a “primate” in another National Review piece.
That means this is his first, well-deserved appearance as Asshole of the Day.
Full story: Talking Points Memo
"nah we can’t have female leads or characters of colour or gay characters or else our show will bomb"
teacher: has to be 3 pages with a max of 5 pages
me: *writes 3.25 pages*
4x01 and 8x01
Sam’s explanations for the state of the Impala on the various occasions that Dean comes back from the dead.
various occasions that dean comes back from the dead.
little things that help ease symptoms of depression:
- turn the lights on and open a window
- eat something healthy and drink ice cold water
- find a comforting album to listen to whenever things get bad
- take a long, relaxing bath
- do yourself up in full make up and hair
- be around people, even if you don’t think it will help
- watch something funny on netflix
- wear your favorite/most comfortable outfit
- immerse yourself in a hobby like drawing
- lose yourself in a really good book or movie
Photographer Blends Images Of Past & Present Seoul In Nostalgic Photo Series by South Korean photographer Sungseok Ahn
Whenever someone refers to the gay community as “queer folk” I imagine us all like woodland sprites, we are the queer folk community, we are born of flowers and fairy dust, we are destroying the sanctity of marriages and corrupting children
Help Our Turtle Friends!!!
NO NO NO NO
SO VERY WRONG
LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG
IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND
SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING
IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.
IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.
IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.
PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.
-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.
-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.
-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.
-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.
-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.
-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.
-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.
WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.
it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.
bolded the tldr
OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK
OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
OCTOBER IS TOMORROW
This perfectly summarizes why I love the Simpsons and hate Family Guy.
Halloween display fell over
THE FIRST CASUALTY OF THE SKELETON WAR
she sat in the water for like an hour, just staring at the water peacefully
our friend noah
almost got mugged today
they were like “give us your money”
and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY
and it worked
WHAT THE FUCK????
me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back
WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER
"oh my god stop criticizing young girls who like 50 Shades of Gray or Twilight you can’t tell them what they can and can’t read"
no we can’t but we have to protect young girls from mistaking abusive behavior for genuine affection at all costs